garbly gloop blub blub

I experienced something today that, until today, I'd only really seen in movies/tv.  I went to the doctor today (to get on antidepressants).  Due to an issue that had occurred MONTHS ago with my husbands insurance (my husband was having medical issues a few months back), and the fact that the insurance fiasco is still being sorted out (but only with this doctor, mind you), I was turned away.  I was given the option of paying $150 to be seen today, or coming back when we have the money and HOPEFULLY the insurance issue is sorted out.

When I was being told that the doctor cannot see me because of blah blah blah, I zoned out for a minute.  Then I was "back", saying "I came to the doctor today to get on antidepressants because I'm having a really hard *UCKING time dealing with life right now, and you're going to turn a person who has valid medical insurance away because of some stupid *UCK UP that isn't our fault?  Way to kick me while I'm down, @$$HOLES!" and then I went on to rip apart the paperwork I'd been filling out, as this would be my first time actually being the patient for this doctor.

In reality I almost cried, since I'm back to feeling lost and sad (even before this - today has been a rough day).  I told them we don't have the money, I thought the situation was all sorted out, but we'll just have to come back when we have money to pay.  I even took the paperwork I'd partially filled out, having the receptionist staple it together so I won't lose any of it, and we left.

But seriously...I understand doctors don't work for free, and that with the amount of funds that will be paid by insurance (once the dang insurance gets their heads out of their butts and covers the procedures, like it's supposed to) it could be easy to see the visit with me being a cost risk.  But knowing that I called last week and told you guys that I need to be seen because I'm needing to be placed on antidepressants, and giving a brief synopsis as to why I need the antidepressants...how callous and rude was it for you to turn my already mentally weakened self away!?

Oh - FYI - the receptionist went back and talked to the doctor, and then came back up front to inform me.  It wasn't just the receptionist seeing some weird note and telling me to go away.  ALSO...couldn't they have noticed the dang issue before I wasted the time, gas, and energy to get out to the appointment?  Couldn't they have called me and informed me about the issue, and what to expect?  Isn't that a common courtesy?

I dunno...I'm just frustrated.

I'm glad I didn't go postal, though I really felt like I was going to.  I'm glad my husband was there to help me think about other options (I will be going to my OBGYN tomorrow, since he can prescribe antidepressants...bonus - he actually knows me!).  My husband, after everything was figured out and an appointment was made for tomorrow then took me to a local restaurant and got me a slice of pie (It's pie day for the restaurant, so mmmmm...buy a slice and get a slice for free).

I'll be ok.  Just frustrated.  Saddened.  And so tired.  Hopefully bed time comes soon(ish) for this household.  I'm exhausted!