I have lost count of the days that I've been taking my "happy pills", but I only have 2 left. I know I missed 1 or 2 days, so it's been roughly a month since I started. I guess I could (technically) go back and look in my blog, seeing the date I started. But I'm not going to. HA!
I have noticed that over the last couple weeks I've not had any days where I felt like I was lost. That is cool, considering the horrific amount of stress I've been under for the last little bit. Between worrying about my husband finding another position with the company he is currently with (his project closes this coming Friday! UGH!), moving on super duper short notice, having to deal with car issues (and then somehow managing to get the car registered), and all that...I am surprised I've not had a melt down, or a day of OMIGAW I CAN'T FUNCTION. So I do think the pills have helped me, at least in that regard.
I have yet to cry, though. I have moments where I can feel the emotion building in my chest, my eyes get wet, but I can't seem to cry. Not that crying is great...I detest crying, most times. But it's weird that I'm not getting teary over touching movies, or crying due to stress, or whatever...I guess I got so used to sniffling almost every day that this whole NOT sniffling stuff is weird to me. So I don't know how I feel about that. I will continue to take my pills because I am enjoying the fact that I'm not shutting down like I did before. I like that I am more patient, and happier, than I was before. I just feel slightly different. It's weird, but I think it's a good weird.
***
I am almost 100% done with smoking. I have, in recent years, been a rather sporadic smoker. I'll quit for a little bit, go back. Go through my weekend with 1 or 2 smokes, and then smoke 1/2 to 1 pack a day when I work. So I estimate that, on average, I did 5 - 10 cigarettes a day. Not horrific amount, but still...I could smoke a pack a day, or more, when I had my bad depression days. Now that I've got an E-Cigarette (it was my valentines gift from the hubster), I first went down to 5 cigarettes a day, and now I'm down to 1 or 2...and there are days I have 0. So I'm thinking that within the next week or two I'll be 100% cigarette free.
The E-cig is actually a big help. It doesn't not feel the same, but it gives me something else to focus on when the cravings are bad. I've tried the gum, using suckers, twizzlers, crocheting, just going cold-turkey, all that...and my quitting has not been successful. Some might see my e-cig as taking one addiction and using another, but at least I know that this is vapor vs. smoke/toxins...and if I can get myself away from smoking, it'll only take a little bit of weaning (still vaping, but using the non-nicotine juices) to get down to just flavored water.
I'm proud of myself. :-)
***
My days off are Tuesday/Wednesday. The house is all unpacked, but is a bit of a mess (had G's friend over for the weekend. Yaay sleepovers...). So Tuesday I'll be cleaning, and then BAM! I'll finally feel like the place is complete. I'm glad to be done with the unpacking, moving, all that.
My hubby and I did go through the dresser and closet in our room, and got rid of 2 large garbage bags FULL of clothes. We still have plenty of clothing, but I think it's awesome that we purged the stuff we don't wear/won't wear/doesn't make us happy. It's nice to have more room to fit the things we do like. :-)
***
On that note, I'm going to wrap things up. I've got homework to work on, and I'm a wee bit tired. I've gotta work in a few hours, and so I shall close here.
Thanks for reading!
No comments:
Post a Comment